Understanding dreams

Going through a process can be very exciting but we always look forward to the end product. The process seems to go on forever. The process is what makes you feel good learning all the things you need to know for the end product. When you dream a dream and it starts to manifest and you realize its not about the end product, its about the journey, You're the end product.

Food Addition

This journey has been so awesome relearning how to listen to my body and losing weight. There has been a lot of ups and downs but through it all I learned something each and every day. I prayed to God for an answer last year about my weight lost and wanted an answer quickly. I learned that maybe I wasn't ready for the weight lose all at once. I had to relearn how to think about food. I had to stop labeling good foods and bad foods. I had to deal with what was really wrong in my eating habits. I realized I was fat because I used food as a substitute for everything. I used it for loneliness, boredom and as a way of soothing all my emotions. Even after I stopped using food I stilled looked for the feeling of sedation I used to get after I overate . I was so used to over eating then getting so tired that all I could do is just lay down. The same drugged feeling I got from alcohol was the same sedated feeling I got from overeating food. I finally decided I no longer wanted to live with that sedated feeling and I love the energy that I have now. I still have only dropped about 20 pounds but it has come off naturally and it doesn't seem to return.

Clean Plate Club

As a child, I was part of the clean plate club. Where you had to eat everything on your plate before you could go back outside to play. I would wolf down the food and hurry out of the door. Now as an adult, I would pile up my plate with food and wolf it down before leaving the table. Old habits die hard but now there is more on my plate. If you are having this problem, leave something on your plate. I'm just saying.

Still- Really got a hold of me

Today I figured out why I use food to comfort me. I ate dinner and watched TV for a while when all of a sudden a thought of ice cream danced in my head. I reached down to see why I really wanted the ice cream and realized I really wanted to be with my husband and he was no where in site. In my mind, ice cream was not what I really wanted but I realized I could use it to buy some time until my husband returned home. It may not make sense most but after reaching down into my real feelings, this is want I came up with. I have been discovering that food has taken care of loneliness, boredom and it really helps just to past the time of day. I thank God that for this journey to discover why food has had such a hold on me. Eating when hungry has pulled out so many emotions because I used to just eat because it was time. It may not make sense to those who have life all figured out or for those who do not have a eating problem but it is a break though for me. Thank God for the little things.

Geneen Roth: Woman, Food and God

I keep seeing it pop up all over the place now about eating when Hungry. I agree with most of the book but some times if I eat something that doesn't satisfy my hungry I still have the "wanting s" compared to eating something that satisfies me. I search and search to see if something was triggering those wanting s but could not find anything that lead me to some kind of emotional thing. I have practicing this eating when hungry for about 7 months and no longer use food to soothe. I finally feel free.

Do you chew your food?

Remember when you were a child and learning about the body and digestion. I remember learning to chew my food so many times but over the years I seem to chew a few times them swallow. I never even tasted the food. Digestion starts in the mouth. How many times should a person chew their food? For something like peas it may require about 5 to 10 times to break them into small enough pieces to swallow, whereas a piece of steak may require 20 to 30 chews before swallowing depending on how tender it is. If I have to chew more than 30 chews the steak is probably too tough for my taste. This sounds so simple but somewhere along the way I seem to have lost touch with basic instincts.

Getting back on track

For the most part this blog has really helped me. For a while I thought I was off track because I wasn't losing weight but now the weight is coming off. For some people eating and controlling their weight is so simple but for some of us it is a daily struggle. This blog is not for all of you that have got it all together, its for people like me who in every aspect of my life I am successful but when it comes to controlling my weight it is like bumping my head against a brick wall. I diet then fail, that is until now. There were pit falls along the way. At times I ate so many different kinds of food that my blood pressure went out of control. That made me get on the elliptical machine and work out every day until it dropped. I started making better food choices and added fiber to me diet still waiting for hunger. The better food choice were not necessarily carrots sticks but foods that made me feel light instead of foods that made me want to fall asleep. I started desiring less sugary foods but sugar is still not off my radar. I found that there are no bad foods only foods that control how you feel. For the foods that make me tired, I just eat less of them during my meals.