Sunday, May 30, 2010
Your life didn't just happen, it was designed by you. Your dreams and all of the choices are all yours. They are a gift from God. You choose happiness, sadness, boredom. You choose your own success, failures and fears. Every moment is a situation that provides a new choice and an opportunity to do things good or bad. Some times a bad situations gives you something to learn as well as a good situation. Ask God what you can learn from all situations and just wait on the answer.
Going through a process can be very exciting but we always look forward to the end product. The process seems to go on forever. The process is what makes you feel good learning all the things you need to know for the end product. When you dream a dream and it starts to manifest and you realize its not about the end product, its about the journey, You're the end product.
This journey has been so awesome relearning how to listen to my body and losing weight. There has been a lot of ups and downs but through it all I learned something each and every day. I prayed to God for an answer last year about my weight lost and wanted an answer quickly. I learned that maybe I wasn't ready for the weight lose all at once. I had to relearn how to think about food. I had to stop labeling good foods and bad foods. I had to deal with what was really wrong in my eating habits. I realized I was fat because I used food as a substitute for everything. I used it for loneliness, boredom and as a way of soothing all my emotions. Even after I stopped using food I stilled looked for the feeling of sedation I used to get after I overate . I was so used to over eating then getting so tired that all I could do is just lay down. The same drugged feeling I got from alcohol was the same sedated feeling I got from overeating food. I finally decided I no longer wanted to live with that sedated feeling and I love the energy that I have now. I still have only dropped about 20 pounds but it has come off naturally and it doesn't seem to return.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
As a child, I was part of the clean plate club. Where you had to eat everything on your plate before you could go back outside to play. I would wolf down the food and hurry out of the door. Now as an adult, I would pile up my plate with food and wolf it down before leaving the table. Old habits die hard but now there is more on my plate. If you are having this problem, leave something on your plate. I'm just saying.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Today I figured out why I use food to comfort me. I ate dinner and watched TV for a while when all of a sudden a thought of ice cream danced in my head. I reached down to see why I really wanted the ice cream and realized I really wanted to be with my husband and he was no where in site. In my mind, ice cream was not what I really wanted but I realized I could use it to buy some time until my husband returned home. It may not make sense most but after reaching down into my real feelings, this is want I came up with. I have been discovering that food has taken care of loneliness, boredom and it really helps just to past the time of day. I thank God that for this journey to discover why food has had such a hold on me. Eating when hungry has pulled out so many emotions because I used to just eat because it was time. It may not make sense to those who have life all figured out or for those who do not have a eating problem but it is a break though for me. Thank God for the little things.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I keep seeing it pop up all over the place now about eating when Hungry. I agree with most of the book but some times if I eat something that doesn't satisfy my hungry I still have the "wanting s" compared to eating something that satisfies me. I search and search to see if something was triggering those wanting s but could not find anything that lead me to some kind of emotional thing. I have practicing this eating when hungry for about 7 months and no longer use food to soothe. I finally feel free.