The WII and The Biggest Loser

I have auditioned for the biggest loser 2 times and was not choosen, so I brought the Wii Fit which includes a free copy of the biggest loser.  I tried it today and it wore my body out.  My body hurts so good. While playing on the WII you get to go through Challenges and create a fitness profile for yourself just like on The Biggest loser show.  I have signed up to lose 11 pounds in 4 weeks.  This year long journey of getting ready to loose weight is finally here.  I thought I was ready to lose weight when I started this blog but dealing with why I got fat in the first place was not what I expected but thank God I have been delivered from the punishment of being fat in the head, now I expect my body to catch up with my head.

The Stranges Secret

On the 5th of February I decided to write down my goal of losing 147 pounds.  I am on this journey of feeling better.  I decided to lose weight over a year ago but nothing came off.  I gave up dieting at that time and started to eat only when hungry savor the flavor and stop when I am no longer hungry any more. I got that concept from Intuitive Eating book. The challenge was I could not stop eating once I started eating.  During this process all of these emotions stared me in the face.  Why was I eating so much?  Why was this the only thing I could not conquer  in my life.  One day I realized I was using food to sedate myself.  I didn't want to face anything that could turn into a potential problem.  I blamed people for getting on my nerves and I blamed others for all the discomforts of my life.  Instead of worrying about anything I used food to cover up all of my feelings.  The best part of this journey was I learned how to put my emotions in perspective, I started to feel the pain that was going on in my head.  I faced my problems and let time take care of all of them.  AT this time not to much bothers me, but food was still on my mind.  I started to read things that would get my mind off food.  That's when I stumbled on this little mp3 of the Strangest Secret in the world.  It talked about having every thing in life that you want.  It tells you to write down on a little card the one thing you really want.  I gave it some thought and I wrote, "I want to lose 147lbs".  Mr Nightingale is the writer of the Strangest Secret and he says pick one thing that you want  and every time the negative thoughts comes up in your head you are to look at the card and say what's on that card.  I started to look at it day and night and started to realize I have so many negative thoughts about being over weight, some times I would get on the scale and would have a one pound weight gain and  I would freak out , then I decided to tell myself, no matter what it shows,  I weight 180 pounds which is my goal weight.  Slowly I have started to change my eating habits.  I am eating more fruit and vegetables. The mp3 says that your solution will find you and I think it is finding me.  Once I do 30 days, I will go another 30 days because I see the change in my thought pattern.  I have never felt this happy in all my life.   

Think and get thin

My little card seems to be working.  I am not thinking about food all the time.  I am really excited about this because I am eating exactly what I want,  my numbers from being border-line diabetic are down to 103 and my blood pressure has dropped down from 168 over 90 to 130 over 82 so I am very happy. I finally dropped 4 pounds and that is exciting to me.  Every time I step on the scale I have to reprogram my thoughts to "your getting smaller and smaller everyday even when the scale says I gained.   All of this time I have been entertaining being fat.  My thoughts were of "Boy are you fat" and "your never going to get this weight off" and any negative thoughts being fat.  How this card helped was to remind me of my goal.  Each time I think fat thoughts I changes to slimming thoughts.  I am so happy I am not thinking fat thoughts.  I plan to finish my 30 days and if need be another 30 days. 

Eating when Hungry

Today I am changing my card to "I will only eat when hungry".   I decided to go back to the beginning of my journey which was to eat only when hungry savior the flavor and stop when I am no longer hungry any more.  Since I like the computer any way, I decided to create a catalog for my business.  I sell adult toys and lingerie and I have been creating a website under the name of msbehavin.com.  I am not really sure what direction to take the business in.  Today I will pinpoint that direction of my business. 

30 Challenge

30 Day Challenge


Today is day 4 of my 30 day challenge to lose weight. I was reading The Strangest Secret about a week ago and decided to try the techniques in the book to lose weight. I took out a card and wrote that I would like to weight 180 pounds. As each day goes by I have been changing my thoughts to a more precise view of what I really want. My card today says I want to lose 147 pounds. As I sit trying not to think about being fat, it is amazing to see how my thoughts to be fat over ride my thoughts to be thin. I put the little card in my pocket and keep it close to me at all times. At work I was trying meditate of my discovery but out side influences kept drifting into my office. Each time I looked at my little card and all the troubles of work seemed to disappear and my job did not seem so daunting as it usually does. I didn't even care that I was doing much more work than those around me, I just concentrated on my thoughts. I am trying to get some control over my negative thoughts and this little piece of paper is really helping. Today I want to change the card again because I feel so heavy that I don't want to eat so much today. Maybe concentrated on lighter foods to fill me up and still waiting for hunger. I'll see what happens

I am still working this journey and here I thought I would have lost a lot of weight right now but instead I have been learning more and more about myself.  I developed high blood pressure and started eating more potassium because when your blood pressure is up you are usually missing  the potassium needed to get though the day in a mentally healthy way.  For me missing potassium seems to cause a lot fatigue, muscle spasm (charlie horses), and  anxiety.  I watched myself at work last week when some one came to me with some upsetting news.  I was so full of anxiety that I was actually rambleing off at the mouth at this person  because my emotions were all over the place.  The emotional eating that I had been saying was a problem for the past year reared its ugly head.  At this point I had made myself so upset listening to the persons words that I wanted to  run to  the vending machine and eat and  eat and eat.  All of a sudden my leg started to cramp like a muscle spasm,  I started to drink water and reached  for a banana and a packet of salt (an old wives tale for charlie horse) I ate another banana and finally  I got my head together and realized the thing that was going on in my body was not emotional eating, I  realize I was missing potassium. After a few minutes  a calm came over me.   I felt myself coming in to a balanced state of mind.   I've thinking a lot about that day because my new focus is to feel better in 2011.