Saturday, August 14, 2010

Woo woo woo

I have been practicing eating when hungry for almost a year. For a while I decided it was not working for me, but I knew I still could not diet any more so I started wondering why didn't this thing work. I did what they told me (intuitive eating), I feel much better, I have more energy so why didn't it work. For a while  I got a little sick, my blood pressure went up after eating everything under the sun. I went back to something I used to do when I lost 50lbs and that was adding fiber to my diet. That made all my unhealthy numbers go back into place. I'm back to my old healthy fat self. But I still wanted to lose the weight. Then I saw Geneen Roth on Oprah a few weeks ago, she said be kind to yourself.  What? I thought, what does that mean, "be kind to yourself". So I sat for a minute and said to myself, look deep, do you really like yourself. I thought who would you like to be more than you? After a long pause, I said, nobody. I really do like how I think, I really do like how kind I am. I really do like how I have raised my children, I have been a very good wife, I feel joy most of the time and I love learning new things. I said to myself, you're not bad looking, just a little fat.  I am who I am and I do like what I see.  Ever since that day, I have been waking up with, please show me more good things in me instead of bad things.

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