Lost 15 pounds since Thanksgiving

Had to get back to eating when hungry around Thanksgiving. This thing just won't go away so I gave in again with success, I lost 15 pounds eating exactly what I want to eat. I'm kind of tired of talking about it but this obsession with weight loss just won't leave me. I can do everything in life but this eating thing just haunts me. Day in and day out I am obsessed with loosing weight. I see myself slim and not worrying about my weight and I will never go on another diet.

After loosing this 15 pounds, I thought I had this eating in check but today I wondered why I just couldn't wait for hunger, I just wanted to eat because it was there.  So I decided to give in.  I realize even slim people over eat sometimes at least I think they do, they just don't give it any thought. So tonight, no pity party just wait for the next hunger which may not come tonight.

How to eat when hungry

This may be a simple thing for some people but when all you've known is how to diet you lose the natural instinct to eat when hungry.  When you diet all the time you need to eat certain foods at certain times.  Some say eat 3 times a day and 2 small snacks.  Some say eat 5 or 6 mini meals and you will loose weight. Diets never worked for me even though I gave it my all, by a certain amount of days I loose the diet battle and fall of the wagon.  I would eat some forbidden food not listed on the diet and that would send me into a downward spiral of emotions of how I can't do anything.  It would follow with a feeling of failure longing for the day I would be slim.  But that day never came, it was only a dream.  When I started eating when hungry only all the emotions that I had tucked away surfaced and for the first time I really had to feel my emotions.  I was not thinking about dieting so my feelings all surfaced around me.  Why am I feeling this way?  Dieting had given me something to think about all day and I was not living a full life.  All my attention was on counting calories and feeling heavy.  I used food to cover all my problems because when I would eat, I would sedate myself and fall into a lazy feeling and just sit and watch TV. Numb to the world and each day passing by waiting for the day to live, the day I will be slim.  One day I thought, what if I will be this size forever?  The thought of being fat for the rest of my life frightened me by I decided to except me as I am but i would try to use my natural instincts, "eating when hungry ".  That meant being patient to wait for hunger but when it was all said and done, the scale moved.  I noticed when I eat when I was not hungry I would gain a few pounds so I vowed to wait for the hungry feeling then eat what ever I wanted.  I wanted Nutty Coconut Ice cream from Baskin Robbins  and got two scoops on a cone.  Can you image getting full off ice cream and not snacking for the rest of the night like I usually do.  No thought of more food.  I decided to give this way of eating a try no longer how long it takes. 

Intuitive eating

I have read and have been trying intuitive eating since last october 2009.  I never thought of myself as having an eating disorder but I really fit the mold.  I thought I had the concept down but lately I am out of control again and gaining weight.  I still fall back because I don't seem to want to wait for hunger
 , at this point I can't figure out why.  I was on fire after reading the book and frustrated, happy, sad depressed.  I no longer have a thyroid problem so I know it is working  but not much evidence of weight loss lately.

No more Hypothyroidism

This blog has become a personal journey.  I kept going up and down in my weight loss.  I like intuitive eating as a plan of weight loss but I am not losing weight fast enough. So I went back to square one, to the beginning.  At some point along the way  I picked up the diet rules again.  I started eating when it was time like early morning instead of when I was hungry. I my mind I went back to the thinking of I have got to get my metabolism going by eating breakfast.  When I started intuitive eating or thintuition I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and now a year later after taking  medication and eating when hungry I no longer take the medication prescribed for hypothyroidism.
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