Saturday, October 9, 2010


For me when ever I am out of control and can't seem to stop eating, it is usually because I am sad or upset.  During this process of eating when hungry I started to feel uncomfortable in my own skin.  I was irritated most days. I kept asking myself, what is wrong with you.  What happen was  I had come to a point where I was no longer using food to sadate myself so I had to feel all of the uncomfortable feelings I  pushed down with food.  I finally realized food was my drug of choice.  I would eat when I got off work because the day was so stressful.  I realize the job was making me fat and I either had to leave it or figure out how to deal with the stress without using food.  At this time I don't have the mind nor the fiances to leave the job so I need to figure out how to deal with the stress.  When I get off work now I come into the house and sit for about 30 minutes doing nothing with the thoughts of snacks and dinner in my head.  First I have explained to my children that Mommy needs 30 minutes to unwind so that we can all have a good evening.  My son usually ask."Did your 30 minutes start already? In this 30 minutes I ask myself, how was your day? then I answer exactly how it was.  I talk to myself about how upset something made me  and the best way to let it go. I tell myself that the uncomfortable feelings have become a way of life for my and I will try to embrace them until I figure out where to put them.  If I need to cry, then I will cry.  Putting them on paper has helped but I try to follow up with positive thoughts.  You might ask why is she making this blog but for me it has been very therapeutic.  I am greatful for the eating when hungry revelation. When I first started this blog I   really wanted to delete everything but as I go back and read it I really realize I have made such a transformation from my earlier depress state of mind.  I got off the yo yo dieting trip and I have never been happier. Now when I get those uncomfortable feelings I search my heart to see what it really needs.  You may not loose weight quickly but it does eventually come off.  Slowly but surely

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